


For the Improvement of the Communication and Detection of Good Will and Love in the World

by Vitreous_Humor



Series: Set Fire to Our Bed [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bickering, Gen, Heaven's understaffed miracles department, Original Angel Character - Freeform, Other, Tetris-playing angel, appropriate-ish use of a sex toy, inappropriate use of a sex toy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 10:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21073331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vitreous_Humor/pseuds/Vitreous_Humor
Summary: Two angels puzzle over a certain recent miracle performed by the Principality Aziraphale.





	For the Improvement of the Communication and Detection of Good Will and Love in the World

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a comment made by Jellyfishfire!

“Hm. Did you see that miracle that just went by, Thoriel?”

“I cannot make it more obvious that I did not.”

Sireniel frowned, pulling up their tablet to access the most recent batch of miracles that had just popped up on Thoriel's screen. Thoriel had finally hot-keyed miracle approval to their right arrow key, and the interruption to their Tetris game was now effectively nil.

“All right, let's see... child sees the face of Saint Parabolus in their cereal, sparrow returned to life, politician forced to tell only the truth...oh here we are, original fabrication, custom. What does that mean?”

Thoriel murmured distractedly as they tried to find a place for a S-shaped segment.

“Thoriel?”

“Oh, they happen sometimes. It's never anything really big. You can pull it up if you like.”

“Isn't the investigation of irregular miracles actually _your _job?”

“I'm sharing with you. We're supposed to share, remember?” They made a brief victorious sound as they slotted an L-shaped piece into the S's overhang.

Ignoring them, Sireniel instead glanced over the schematics, concentrating. A glow shaped itself into a series of slightly elongated shapes and textures, flashing from one to the next almost too fast to see, and just as Sireniel blinked, there was a soft flash and something odd fell directly into their hands.

It was some kind of slick rubbery object, black with a sparkly shine to it, perhaps three inches long. It was bulbous at one end and flat at the other, where it was connected to a series of thin leather straps. There were a few rows of nubbins around the... the shaft, Sireniel supposed, and they ran their fingers along it curiously.

What in the_ world?_

Sireniel, of course, had access to a complete and perfect knowledge of the cosmos. However, if the idea of accessing that knowledge did not occur to them, they would be as clueless as the any angel who had never been to Earth and whose idea of making an effort was trying to sing a little more joyfully during choir practice.

Sireniel shook the object dubiously and then tapped it on the desk in front of them. What could it possibly be for? Was it clothing, or some kind of... prosthetic horn? Was it jewelry?

It did have a rather nice weight in their hand. The straps made it a little unruly, but if they cut those off, it could be balanced on its flat end, perhaps to indicate that a certain stack of paperwork was done or some such.

It was a pleasant thing to hold and to roll between their palms, and Sireniel ran their fingertips over the firm nubbins. It was nice, but what _was_ it?

They tapped it on the desk again, and then they tapped it on their chair's arm rest. They rather liked the way it bounced. They tapped it on their arm, and then they tapped it on Thoriel's arm. Thoriel didn't look up, so they tapped it on Thoriel's shoulder and then on Thoriel's cheek.

“Oh, hey, I'm winning, quit it!” Thoriel exclaimed, putting their game on pause for the first time in four years. “What are you _doing_, Sireniel?”

Sireniel held up the strange object.

“What is this?”

“It's a custom fabrication,” Thoriel said, and Sireniel frowned.

“It's fine to say that you don't know either.”

“I do so know. It's meant to improve the communication and detection of good will and love in the world.”

Sireniel made a face.

“I _know _what miracles are for. I want to know what _this _miracle is for.”

“Same thing.”

“How?”

“Here, let me see it.”

Sireniel handed Thoriel the object, who turned it over in their hands curiously.

“Okay, there it is, that makes sense..”

“It does?”

“Yeah, there's an inscription right on the base. Just look.”

Frowning, Sireniel leaned in, squinting at the spot Thoriel indicated.

“I don't see any- oh!”

Sireniel's hand flew up to cover their nose, which Thoriel had just tapped with the rubbery thing.

“Got ya.”

“Oh my goodness, you absolute child!”

“Neither of us ever were,” Thoriel pointed out. “Why are you so curious about the whatever it is, anyway? It's just a thing.”

“Well, yes, but I mean, aren't you? There was all that business two years ago about the apoca-oh!” Sireniel somehow did not see the second tap coming at all.

“Don't want to talk about it,” Thoriel said firmly. “Maybe _that's _what it's for, the purpose of curbing too-curious angels.”

“But Aziraphale is currently the only angel on earth, that makes no- oh! _Stop _it, Thoriel!”

“All right, now it's just fun- hey, give it back!”

“No! I'm not going to! You are absolutely not responsible enough to be in charge of whatever this thing is!”

“I am so! At least I'm exploring the possibilities and- hey!”

“There, how do you like it? What do you think, Thoriel? Is it designed for poking too-curious angels? Is it?”

“I'm the opposite of too-curious, I'm not curious at all! It's my best feature! Stop poking my face, Sireniel, _quit _it...”

“No, wait, I think I'm getting the hang of it. Here, hold still, I am just _improving the communication and detection of good will and love in the world_.”

“You are _not_, you are just poking me in the face with a miracle!”

Thoriel had spent a good five thousand years listening for a supervisor's step in the hallway, Sireniel less so. That was why Thoriel's head twisted around at the unexpected sound from the door, and Sireniel, not listening for anything, continued poking Thoriel in the face with the custom-made gag, only to miss Thoriel's cheek entirely.

That also was how Thoriel ended up with a gag in their mouth, the straps dangling down, when Hanniel opened the door.

_Oh... hello, Hanniel! _signed Sireniel.

_Hello, _Hanniel signed. _I was just... what's going on here?_

_The investigation of irregular miracles, _Thoriel signed promptly

_Oh. Aziraphale. That makes sense. Anyway, I just wanted to remind you both that the Archangel Gabriel's team-building exercise is scheduled for tomorrow. We're doing trust falls._

_Tacky,_ complained Sireniel, and Hanniel sighed.

_Don't I know it. Just don't be late, please._

Hanniel closed the door behind them, and Thoriel poked at the gag in their mouth.

_Okay, I think we're on to something, _they signed.

“No, I don't think we are,” Sireniel said, blushing for some reason. “Here, give it back, I'll vanish it.”

_No, I'm keeping it. It's kind of comfy. I bet it comes in handy sometime. _

“You do not, you're just doing it to antagonize me.”

_Like I said, handy, _Thoriel said, somehow grinning around the gag, and they went back to their Tetris game.

**Author's Note:**

> *I don't think I've ever written a better example of “two idiots sharing a braincell.”
> 
> *You two fought in the Great War in Heaven, have some dignity! 
> 
> *Yeah, Aziraphale's camouflaging maneuvers from "Everyday Miracles" did not work at all.
> 
> *Here I am, writing fanfic of my own fanfic. What a world. 
> 
> *For the story behind the toy, you need to go to "Drink Poison from His Tongue." They actually use it right over there.


End file.
